her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
