But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
