When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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