So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize