I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
