well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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