sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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