the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize