took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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