im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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