This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
