last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
