Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
