If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
