Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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