new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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