did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
