So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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