My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
