I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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