Small penises have feelings too.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
