i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
