Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
