the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
