I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
