Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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