I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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