erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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