We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
