how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
