He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
