I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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