woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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