You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
