I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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