She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
