why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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