she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
