we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
my liver is dry heaving
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
