whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
