Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
