Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
