its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
