I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
