You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't deserve a penis
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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