There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize