i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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