my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
