Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
