Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
