Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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