I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Two words: blizzard sex
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
