All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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