Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
