Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
