I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
