i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
