He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
