I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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